I saw Signs, and man, did it totally kick ass.

To sum it all up:

Does that make the point I was trying to make?

M. Night Shyamalan conquers again. I went to a 3:40 showing and it was nearly full, and most schools around here are back in (so sadly it was almost all old people--there was this guy behind us who kept snorting--no, not drugs, just, you know... snot and stuff). Execution does it all in this movie; the concept is kind of dumb and cliche, but the acting and the precision of the lines does everything for the movie.

As the minutes pass, the story unfolds, as does the past of the characters--it begins with the mysterious appearance of what appears to be a crop circle, followed by a short hunt by the two adult main characters--Graham Hess (Mel Gibson) and his brother Merrill (JOAQUIN PHOENIX!!!!!!! THE VERY GOD WHO THIS DIARY IS NAMED AFTER!!!!!)--for the pranksters who would have the nerve to pull such a trick.

However, for the neatness in the "crop circles" there is no explanation--there is no machine that could be that neat in bending the corn stalks, and not breaking it, yet such a thing done by human hands would take long hours. So who could have done it?

(Shiver) I am entirely too paranoid now. I thought I saw a flashlight through my window. Anyway.

We learn on this hunt that Graham is an ex-reverend who gave up on his faith when his wife died, and that Merrill is an ex-minor league baseball player who (or so we think) gave up his career to come and live with his brother and their children. Their pasts DO sort of come into play at the end.

The point of this review is not to tell you the plot, it is to tell you GO SEE IT. NOW. THIS VERY MOMENT. Well? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!? GO AND SEE IT ALREADY!!!

For those of you that are still here, and have not seen the movie, DON'T YOU RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!? I'M TELLING YOU TO GO AND SEE IT!!!!!!

Quite frankly this was the only movie that I was ever genuinely scared while watching. In The Others I was eager to find out what happened in the end, but not watching with bated breath. In The Silence of the Lambs I was creeped out, but I didn't have my hand over my mouth and my fingers gripping the chair.

What I'm trying to say is it's really the only movie that managed to pull off serious suspense. The stuff where my breathing got more shallow as the story continued, and, like said, I constantly found myself gripping the armrests of my seat. I nearly screamed in shock at the end, and it wasn't because someone opened a closet door. I put my hand up to my mouth, gasped really loudly, and jumped about a foot in the air, though.

And the sci-fi essence it maintained made it even better.

Plus Joaquin Phoenix makes fun of geeks who can't get girlfriends. (It also has comic relief, especially as you see Merrill's progression from total non-believer, to sceptic, to accepting, to obsessed. The foil helmet thing gives you a good laugh.)

There are no coincidences.

Or so Merrill thinks, as he explains an experience at a party with a girl, gum, and vomit.