I mean, sure, you get a good one now and then, but mostly it's a waste of your time. You can always tell if it's a waste the first time you see "u" instead of "you".

I found a fanfic using the Sebald Code (Here's a link for the one person out there who knows what the Sebald Code is, yes, I'm talking to you), and it's not entirely right (the code is using every 10th word instead of every 11th, and once you get passed 'Baudelaire' you want to kill yourself), but then, it can't be easy to write code like that.

In other news, Signs comes out tomorrow.

(Insert me jumping around and screaming with excitement here.)

SIGNS! You know... Mel Gibson (ugh, but if I have to), an M. Night Shyamalan film (woohoo!), and, most importantly, JOAQUIN PHOENIX! THE JOAQSINATOR! OH MY GOD, I SOUND LIKE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS I DESPISE! I WILL STOP TYPING IN CAPS!

Well, it's rational for me to be excited. Joaquin Phoenix is, after all, the person this diary is named after, so you should EXPECT me to be overjoyed that finally there's a new movie with Joaquin. He was on Letterman last night and Regis this morning. He's so cute! I mean it in the sense that, he hates crowds, so it's really cute to watch him sitting there all nervous. It makes him look like a lost puppy. The lost puppy look doesn't work on many people.

Mike Myers is on Regis tomorrow. I don't know if I'll be able to will myself awake that early. Because I'm staying up till 2 to tape him on Leno (he was on last week, and I missed it, so I want to tape the re-run). And Signs is tomorrow. I can't be falling asleep during Signs.

I am jumping around with glee, despite the fact that I'm probably not going to get to see it tomorrow, because my dad locked our only phone in his room and so, I didn't have any method of communication. He said he was worried sick about me and was calling me for three hours straight. I think that if he really cared that much and was that worried he'd have come home.

I tried to pick his lock, but failed miserably.

I may be wrong, but I think he is trying to kill me. First he takes away my internet, THEN he takes away the phone? What other rational explanation is there? Oh, right: MY DAD IS AN ASSHOLE!

Speaking of my dad being an asshole, I cannot finish Mostly Harmless, due to the fact that I cannot read the print because I HAVE NOT BEEN TO THE EYE DOCTOR IN THREE YEARS. Oh, he's too busy to make an appointment. Because he's been too busy for the last YEAR, you see. Obviously there's not enough time to call my eye doctor. Especially while he's sitting there with his thumb up his ass at Sauronette's. Oh, no. Not enough time. So I can't see. Did I go over this already? Yes, I think I did.

The reason I am going over it again is so maybe my mom will read it, and then perhaps she will take it upon herself to do something because I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN. I mean, he wants me to go to MY eye doctor. He won't let me go anywhere else. I would call and make in appointment, but there are two major flaws in this plan:

1) Whenever I make the appointment for will, of course, be unavailable on my dad's schedule, and

2) I DO NOT KNOW THE NAME OF MY EYE DOCTOR BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN SUCH A LONG TIME!!!!!!

I will not be able to go to school unless I have my glasses by tomorrow. Otherwise I will not be able to have enough time to fix my condition.

I've been telling my dad that he needs to get me an appointment since September last year. Of course, then I could actually see. Now trying to read makes my head hurt, the words get all blurry, and the only reason I can read stuff on the internet is because I have the type set all big.