Oh no! I may just have to watch it 1239812398123981298323 more times to understand it!

HOW TERRIBLE!!!

Ewan McGregor looks really good wearing eye makeup.

Let's just say, I'm glad that the little bit of the 80's that I was in, I can't remember, if the 80's anything resembled Velvet Goldmine.

In other news, Shallow Grave has decided to be on Thursday at precisely 2 a.m., on a channel that doesn't exist.

There are three problems with this:

1) School starts Thursday.

2) My dad leaves Wednesday.

3) It is on a channel that doesn't exist.

Yet somehow, I'm determined to watch it.

Yes, I realize that means not only convincing the channel to exist, but convincing the school district that school should really not start until next week, and also convincing my dad he needs to stay in town so I can be home to watch it on the nonexistent channel.

In other news, I have been feeling horribly sick, and am afraid it might have something to do with the fact that shortly after I wrote this entry, I happened to eat a vomit-flavoured jelly bean, which is enough to make one boycott all jelly beans.

Really. I will NEVER EAT ANOTHER JELLY BEAN.

I have no idea how the people who make these Every Flavor Beans do it, but they actually taste like the flavour they say they do. Take, for example, dirt. It tastes exactly like dirt. It's not as though I've ever shoved a handful of dirt in my mouth, but when you eat the jelly bean, you automatically think, "That is EXACTLY how dirt tastes!" And grass tastes like grass.

Actually, the grass-flavoured one is quite good, and I made the mistake of giving Richelle one in the middle of a jewelry store with her mom there yesterday.

When I informed her that it was a grass-flavoured one, she took it upon herself to yell to her mom, "HEY! Mom! Grass is GOOD!"

Now for more news: Paul is, for the 123981239812398th time, in the hospital. It's ridiculous.

Paul just doesn't stop eating like a pig and acting the way he used to. Okay, that sounded weird. "He doesn't stop acting the way he used to"? Arr. Well, you know what I mean. He just eats so much, and I've never seen him eat anything good for a person. And he goes by the World's Dumbest Theory, meaning that if he drinks a Red Bull, which is about 2348723487239423487123873598723% caffeine, he thinks that if he drinks a lot of caffeine-free ice tea that he will negate the Red Bull, which is, so to speak, absolute bull.

But if Paul wants to kill himself, who am I to stop him?

I've never been a health freak. I'm not one of those people who won't put something in my mouth if it's not good for you. I am not a vegetarian, nor do I plan to be (sorry, Joaquin).

That is not to say that I am not health conscious. I know if I'm eating something that's not good for me and I consider that before I eat it.

So what I'm saying is most people's eating habits are not anything that makes me stop and cringe at them and tell them to stop doing what they're doing, or else they're going to kill themselves.

Except for Paul, who orders the two pound steak when we go out, and who eats all the fat on it, and then who pigs out on ribs and doesn't even consider that he should eat his salad. He slathers butter on anything that could somehow be remotely healthy for him and the best meal I can honestly say I've ever seen him eat was four tuna sandwiches, which were actually more mayonnaise sandwiches with a bit of tuna, and about half a bag of potato chips.

So I don't tend to feel sorry for him when he ends up in the hospital because I think if I always feel sorry for him he won't wake up and smell the coffee. Well, he won't wake up, because he's impossible to wake up. Really, he is.

Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is that if nobody bothered to pretend that he didn't do anything to provoke another heart attack and everything, then he might just stop and think, "But why?" And then maybe he'll stop being so stupid.

Though he's had quite a while, and I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Anyway, I have now discovered that my fears are now scored and have sound effects.

The way I discovered this happened in my room earlier today, when I was sitting on my desk chair and staring randomly into my blank computer screen.

My computer screen is opposite the door and reflects light from the hall, meaning that if someone walks by my doorway I can see them pass because obviously the light doesn't shine through them.

Very M. Night Shyamalanesque, wouldn't you say?

Yes, especially since at that moment a mixture of The Sixth Sense and Signs occured:

Staring into the screen I see a sudden VERY ODD... almost alien shape pass by, and jump about a foot in the air, but not because of what I think I saw, but because of the fact that at the moment I saw it I heard one of those classic BOOMs of the percussion, which is easily demonstrated by watching that scene on The Sixth Sense where the woman walks past the bathroom door.

People don't give enough recognition to scoring. Nobody would have jumped in that scene if they hadn't had the big BOOM.

Anyway. Perhaps at the dramatic moments I'll have good sad scoring, with a lot of string instruments, and at the tense moments I can have a lot of piano.

Actually if I made a movie like that I would insist on non-dramatic scoring, because it tells you what's going to happen. Because it lets you know what's going to happen before it happens, it kind of decreases your surprise level when it does happen. I realize a movie is scarier when it's absolutely quiet before something bad happens. (You'll notice that they seem to have realized this lately, and so in all the scary movies now there are constantly points where the music builds and then falls without anything happening, just to falsely increase your suspense level.) It's what M. Night Shyamalan does. I mean, he doesn't score the movies, but I think he probably has something to do with that.

Of course the BOOM when something happens is okay, because it emphasizes the event.

Whoo, okay, I'm leaving now.