The first segment of this entry, if you could not tell, is based off the first line, and myself and a few others (who are linked according to line) came up with second lines. Also, one was almost blatant theft from Dave Barry (tell me if you can spot who).

Without further adu...

The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.....The only person left outside was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flowerbed outside number four.

1) "He loves me, he loves me not," said the boy as he peeled petals from the flower one-by-one.

2) Harry Potter coughed up blood. "These silly costumes..."

3) "Oooh, Hermione," he said.

4) "Ouch," he said.

5) "That's the last time I let Dobby hump my leg." [Jol]

6) He tucked a daisy behind his ear and lit a candle. [Jol]

7) "Today's the day when the dreaming ends..."

8) "Promise me... you will train the boy..."

9) He was in a state of shock, for his uncle had just offered to buy him a spanking new bicycle, his aunt had just offered to do all his laundry and cleaning, and, most surprisingly of all, his cousin had just announced a new diet plan. [Jol]

10) "CLEAR!" shouted the men in blue coats as they electrocuted him.

11) "Well," he said, "I guess it all started when I was a young child, and the evil wizard Voldemort tried to kill me.... Wait! No! It started back with the first human beings--"

12) "Maybe if I hide myself behind this strategically placed tulips and pansies, no one will see that I am, in fact, a nerdy little boy with glasses and no muscles whatsoever." [Tea]

13) "I'd like to teach the world to sing... in perfect harmony..." [Jol]

14) The Tyrannosaurus Rex sniffed in the boy's general direction before lumbering past. "Hoo boy," he said, eyeing his shivering lemonade.

15) "I wonder if Cho is into Asian porn?" [Ange]

16) "Maybe if I lie really still, Ron won't find me!" said Harry lowly to himself, as Ron came barrelling from around the corner of the house wearing a mere loin cloth. "Where are you, you limey little prat!" he chuckled and sprinted right past the flowerbed.
"Hm," said Harry to himself, observing the contents of Ron's groin area. "Red hair. All the way, I see." [Tea]

17) Harry sang softly to himself, "Is this the real life....is this just fantasy?" whilst the flowers backed him up. [Tea]

18) "Excuse me," said a short man, sidling up to him, "but is this the way to Mordor?"

19) "Want to see my REAL wand?" he said.

20) "NEVER AGAIN," he gasped, "will I throw my wand at a beehive."

21) "Aha!" exclaimed Harry with conviction. "I've got it! The Meaning of Life!" Unfortunately, the world will never know what Harry meant by this, as the planet was instantly thereafter obliterated to make way for a hyperspace bypass. [Tea]

22) "I'll bet Hermione's lying," Harry assured himself nervously. "I SO have a bigger penis than Ron." [Ange]

23) A red-haired boy of the same age opened the door. "Sod," he said, and went back inside.

24) Unfortunately then the car missed the driveway and hit the boy instead. "Oops," said a short, fat kid as he got out of the car.
"DUDLEY!" scolded an older woman as she stepped out of the car. "And just after you've gotten your license!"

25) A car door slammed, followed by gunshots, screams, breaking glass, and a small explosion, but even that could not disturb him from his peaceful meditation.

26) "Wingardium Leviosa!" he muttered, in a flustered teenage experiment of erectile functioning. [Ange]

27) "Man. Shouldn'ta had that third martini, I think," he said, after another bout of being ill in said flowerbed. [Di]

28) "Okay, no more sniffing Floo powder." [Di]

29) He stared at the empty spot next to him. "I was used...I was used!......cool..." [Di]

30) He promptly had a memory to cover his previous four years of excitement and inform all the people locked in caves of the fact that he was a wizard who had defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort with only his milk bottle, a pacifier, and a nursery rhyme.

Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. "It is time," he said, "for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything."
"Harry," said Dumbledore, pausing for gasps of air, "I am your father..."
"Ewww...." said Harry, before he could stop himself. "I'm not even going to imagine the mechanics of that relationship."

Now ideally, you'd find a situation wherein this happened: