Then, I have this nasty habit of pressing down really hard on the keys when I type. I sometimes wish I was in the bedroom next door so then I could feel free to type louder.

So, I have developed 'Phoebe Caprona's Surefire Method For Getting Online At 11:28 At Night And Not Getting Caught'.

This begins by getting under the covers of your bed. You must get under the covers, toss and turn, and make it look like you've been asleep. Don't try to mess up the covers with your hands. It still looks too neat. You must, I repeat, MUST get under the covers and do this properly. Next, (this works best with glow-in-the-dark stickers around your room), you must turn off all the lights and make your way to your computer. A vital thing is a nightlight. Before you go on any 11:28 p.m. excursions, you must make well-known that you now sleep with a nightlight. This is vital to see what you are doing. You must make sure it is well-known that you sleep with a nightlight because if your parents walk in, you don't want it to seem abnormal. The key to having a nightlight as an older person (as in older than 10) without looking like a wimp is making sure it has, or pretending it has, some sentimental value- a friend gave it to you for a present, etc. The other method is starting a vast collection of nifty lights, both of which I have used. I have over 8 light sources in my room, at the top of my head. Then, if you have a loud modem, such as I, you must shove pillows around your computer to muffle the sound. The key is you have to find the exact spot where the sound comes from or else it becomes louder. This may take practice. You also must practice typing quietly but quickly.

The last, and most important thing of them all, is practicing what I like to call the "Switch, slide and swish". This means that, in the event that you do hear a parent or other person of power approaching, you 'switch' off the monitor, 'slide' the keyboard in and 'slide' your rolly chair backwards (remember, this is 'Phoebe Caprona's Surefire Method For Getting Online At 11:28 At Night And Not Getting Caught', not 'Everybody Else's Surefire Method For Getting Online At 11:28 At Night And Not Getting Caught'. You may need to change these), and the 'swoosh' is for the practiced jump into your bed.

Any questions?

Yes? You there, in dress. No, not you, that other person in the dress.

No, I do NOT have a trash can. And I don't sell ponies, either, it's Christmas and we run out a lot.

Anyway, I went on a field trip at school today, in which we watched plays of these five stories we were forced to read in school, and, as everybody knows, when Phoebe Caprona pays over eight dollars to go and see something, naturally an extremely tall person who has a thing for squirming in the midst of performances has to sit in front of her, heaven forbid she actually see something.

But they sucked anyway. The Telltale Heart was okay, as bad as that story would ordinarily have been in a play. I think it was the guy who played the main character. He was good.